The kindness of strangers

In New York City, it’s finally getting warmer day by day.

40°F  is considered very cold in Japan. 

But it sounds warm to me  after getting used to temperatures 

around 10°F in New York.

I feel spring is just around the corner.

Well, in my blog posts I’ve written a lot about how tough 

it is living in New York.

At the same time, there are many great new experiences 

in my daily life, too, and I want to share them this time.

When I take my 3-year-old daughter with me, 

I often experience people’s geniality, and it makes me feel so warm.

I never expected so many New Yorkers to be so kind to a child!

In Hawaii, yes. I’ve frequently met friendly people 

with big smiles saying,

 “Hi! Little Baby!” in restaurants or shops. 

But I thought it was because Hawaii is a tourist resort 

and I was a customer.

This is not Hawaii. It’s New York City.

I had a stereotype that people in a big city must be cold and 

were not interested in others, but that has not been true in some points.

A year ago, when I was a newcomer in the city, 

I was surprised to find people were so nice and kind to us.

There are lots of great stories when I bring the stroller.

When I stopped in front a shop door  or subway station and 

was about to grip the doorknob, I heard a voice from behind:

“ I got it.”

Then the door was opened automatically, 

and someone held it until we got  inside.

Wow! That’s so nice! 

In Japan, I had experienced a man opening a door for me only as

 “ladies first” when I was out on a date.

In New York City, not only men, but also women, 

young people, the elderly and even people who look homeless 

frequently help us open doors.

How fast they are!

They suddenly appear from nowhere and go in a flash.

In many cases they are only passersby.

They are not trying to enter a shop or ride on a train, 

but just stop to open the door for an Asian mother and child.

So I’m very surprised.

Can I stop just to open the door for someone?

Many Japanese people show their hospitality 

if they have a duty or responsibility at work, 

but here something is different.

Conversely, I’m often disappointed to experience bad service 

in restaurants or shops in New York.

Do workers change to be nice and gentle outside their work place?

It’s totally opposite from Japan.

Sometimes I hear “the voice of God.”

In Manhattan, not many subway stations have an elevator or 

an escalator. 

I frequently have to go up and down dark, steep stairs in the stations.

If my daughter is awake and can walk upstairs, it’s very lucky.

But if she falls asleep on a train, it’s the worst.

I hold her in my arms with my big mama bag on the right shoulder 

and the folded stroller on the left shoulder.

“ Here we go!”

When I’m ready, I hear a voice from somewhere.

“ Do you need help? “

For a pregnant woman with a 30-pound child, 

that is almost “the voice of God!”

“ Oh, I really appreciate it,”

I say with my biggest smile and accept the kindness. 

”Thank you VERY much!!!” (Thinking, “You’re the God.”)

When he or she leaves, they smile at me saying, 

“ Have a nice day!”

Wow, I like that!

That’s so fabulous!

I hope I can be such an attractive New Yorker someday.

I promise myself every time.

A man talked to woman with baby to assist her.
It's very commonly happen in NY.

 When I get on a bus or a train with my daughter, 

someone immediately gives up a seat for her in very natural ways.

Even if it’s crowded and nobody stands up, 

someone (usually a middle-aged woman) tells people in seats,

“ Please give her a seat. She is too small, you see.”

Then people try to make room for my daughter.

I’ve never seen such a great scene in a train in Japan.

However, we can’t be too dependent on people’s kindness 

all the time.

We make an effort to avoid rush hour and fold the stroller 

as much as we can.

But when a child is sleeping with a lot of luggage, 

we have no choice but to step into a crowded train 

with a beating heart and tell people

“ Excuse me, we’re so sorry…”

In Japan, someone might click his tongue or frown at us.

I surely understand how they feel, and I can’t blame them.

In New York, of course, there must be many people who don’t like children.

Once when I had to get on a train at rush hour,

I hear a man at the door shout, 

“ Please step inside more!”

Then a lady next to me answered immediately, 

 “ There’s a stroller here.”

A man said,

“ Oh, Sorry. I didn’t see that.”

And it was finished. It’s very simple and openhearted.

What would have happened in Japan?

If I got on a crowded train with a stroller in Tokyo, 

I could easily imagine how people would react.

They may keep silent with smartphone in their hand, 

but watch us with an annoyed look.

 “What are you thinking?

  Read the situation.

  You lack common sense.”

They never say so, but they send a non-verbal message: 

“ YOU irritate us!”

Ah…what an awful situation. 

It must be feel like torture.

I can’t stand it and may flee the train to take a taxi.

In contrast, in New York, I often enjoy non-verbal communication 

with people at many places.

A store assistant, waiter and waitress, and even a stranger 

on a street give my daughter a very kind smile.

At first, I didn’t understand why people smile at my daughter 

and thought she might have made a funny face.

But I realized people just think she is cute or like a small child.

So I smile back at them. 

It’s very simple, but I really like it! 

Whenever I experience this small contact with strangers,

I come to like New York more and more.

I feel secure and it makes my day happy.

Not only for my daughter, but people smile naturally to 

see any small children.

I think people who are kind to kids mean the society is generous 

and cherishes children.

It’s really happy and lucky for parents.

A child can grow up getting such gentle affection from not only a mother, 

but also from someone in the city.

That’s fine even if it makes my daughter think she is unusually cute. 

Currently in Japan, children’s lack of confidence and self-esteem 

causes many problems, and teachers and parents think 

seriously how to raise it.

In America, I feel children’s power of self-reliance might be 

raised in many ways like this.

It’s not always middle-aged women who are nice to children. 

Sometimes it’s men, or young ladies and guys who look still single, 

or even businessmen.

It is a surprise in a very big and busy city like a Manhattan 

that so many people see and pay attention to someone else’s children.

I’m so inspired by such great people in New York.

Recently I found myself being aware of others when 

I’m walking along a street or at a public space. 

If someone needs my help, I want to repay kindness with caring feeling.

Lovely people in this city taught me to accept kindness 

and spread it to others. 

I believe such small behaviors make various manners 

and cultures in the country.

A year ago today, I first arrived here.

I’m getting used to my daily life here, 

but I want to keep people’s kindness fresh in my mind.

I don’t want to take it for granted and don’t want to forget 

my gratitude in the future.

Thank you, New York!